Here's a really snarky version of BuckShots

First, apologies to members of the Fridays with Ray Buck Club. Your leader is taking a day off and I’m pinch-hitting.

I guess you can call me the Star-Telegram version of Chris Shelton or something, except I’m not going to pop up my sacrifice bunt attempt.

I’ll be honest: I’d rather fill in for Ray on a Monday. That’s BuckShots day, and BuckShots is one of those games that looks like it would be fun to play at home.

But Ray won’t give up his BuckShots. I can’t say that I blame him. I mean, who would want to read ThomasShots? It just doesn’t sound the same. He’s the only person in this department with the name to make the column work.

So with Ray unavailable, I’m going to fulfill my dream and do some BuckShots. But let’s keep this column our little secret, because this is going to be BuckShots with a twist.

See, Ray is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. But once, just once, I’d like to see Ray get all snarky in his replies. Admit it: You’ve read a comment in a Monday column that made you say out loud, "What is that person thinking?!?"

Or at least want to send in a Jeer for Saturday’s paper.

Anyway, here’s what BuckShots might look like if Ray weren’t so nice ...

FIRST SHOT: I think it’s time for Jon Daniels to make a move and bring in a starting pitcher or two to give the Rangers a head start on their playoff push.

— Tommy, Left Field

NOT A RAY BUCKSHOT: Hello!?! That’s the most ridiculous statement I’ve read today. Please tell me you don’t operate heavy machinery.

SECOND SHOT: After watching the Lakers fall apart against the Celtics, I don’t think the Mavericks are as far away from winning the West as everyone’s been saying. In fact, I think they’ll be back in the NBA Finals next season.

— MFFL, AAC

NOT A RAY BUCKSHOT: You been spending the off-season with Josh Howard? Let’s see